The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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