Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
