I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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