"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
it's great music for shaving your balls
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
