What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
