i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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