babies were throwing up all over the place
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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