He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
