i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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