bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize