His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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