What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
