Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
