you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
