Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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