I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
