I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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