when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
