Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.

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  (717): So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC. http://tfl.nu/vvcv
  Replies (89) Good night (3029) Bad night (511)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.

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  (843): He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat. http://tfl.nu/b45i
  Replies (29) Good night (5287) Bad night (836)
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  (714): View more from California

  I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.

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  (714): I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness. http://tfl.nu/2r5a
  Replies (20) Good night (3973) Bad night (861)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.

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  (206): I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before. http://tfl.nu/t0my
  Replies (21) Good night (983) Bad night (5898)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking

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  (401): I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking http://tfl.nu/g7j3
  Replies (11) Good night (4195) Bad night (1182)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in

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  (917): she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in http://tfl.nu/g0n5
  Replies (12) Good night (3320) Bad night (1172)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers

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  (205): i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers http://tfl.nu/g3p7
  Replies (25) Good night (6754) Bad night (1040)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training

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  (224): woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training http://tfl.nu/euvl
  Replies (10) Good night (4436) Bad night (804)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.

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  (651): I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents. http://tfl.nu/48zb
  Replies (18) Good night (905) Bad night (2371)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?

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  (336): I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/ctqb
  Replies (4) Good night (482) Bad night (1123)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".

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  (443): I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over". http://tfl.nu/6ral
  Replies (0) Good night (532) Bad night (735)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me

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  (425): i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me http://tfl.nu/5vfc
  Replies (5) Good night (1037) Bad night (472)
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  (914): View more from New York

  THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED

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  (914): THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED http://tfl.nu/eqdp
  Replies (6) Good night (1518) Bad night (289)
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  (585): View more from New York

  my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.

  (917): View more from New York City

  can you adopt me?

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  (585): my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now. (917): can you adopt me? http://tfl.nu/i9vb
  Replies (1) Good night (1036) Bad night (281)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"

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  (602): you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food" http://tfl.nu/tcxp
  Replies (2) Good night (958) Bad night (193)

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