Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.

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(330): She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning. http://tfl.nu/zuj3

Replies (61) Good night (2294) Bad night (4532)
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(571): View more from Virginia

i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame

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(571): i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame http://tfl.nu/i2ht

Replies (48) Good night (9131) Bad night (831)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.

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(843): I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again. http://tfl.nu/1qgn

Replies (76) Good night (22231) Bad night (1663)
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(514): View more from Quebec

Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.

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(514): Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined. http://tfl.nu/ti88

Replies (8) Good night (1315) Bad night (5511)
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(407): View more from Florida

I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.

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(407): I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye. http://tfl.nu/cusq

Replies (2) Good night (2195) Bad night (734)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?

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(757): Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early? http://tfl.nu/0ctz

Replies (19) Good night (2019) Bad night (771)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.

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(503): Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home. http://tfl.nu/ow7v

Replies (6) Good night (3471) Bad night (748)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?

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(814): We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest? http://tfl.nu/lgnx

Replies (3) Good night (1212) Bad night (567)
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(874): View more from

I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!

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(874): I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night! http://tfl.nu/sa7u

Replies (8) Good night (1497) Bad night (580)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!

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(617): I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka! http://tfl.nu/buxw

Replies (1) Good night (615) Bad night (741)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.

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(506): Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it. http://tfl.nu/c7ua

Replies (5) Good night (553) Bad night (715)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.

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(919): Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties. http://tfl.nu/7t6a

Replies (9) Good night (1684) Bad night (450)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...

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(905): I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply... http://tfl.nu/4d3r

Replies (2) Good night (710) Bad night (319)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.

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(920): So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot. http://tfl.nu/mxqc

Replies (5) Good night (468) Bad night (1272)
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(625): View more from

You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.

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(625): You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance. http://tfl.nu/hgkc

Replies (1) Good night (424) Bad night (279)

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