Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Have you learned any life lessons?

(406): View more from Montana

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors

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(426): View more from

i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair

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These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Read it at the TFLN blog
(973): View more from New Jersey

he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.

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(516): View more from New York

i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either

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(989): View more from Michigan

It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue

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(815): View more from Illinois

I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.

(210): View more from Texas

Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.

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