i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
