a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers