I chose taco bell over sex...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.