my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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