Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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