so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
