I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
