remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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