...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
