But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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