Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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