literally had 100 drinks last night.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
