I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
