check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
