White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
