there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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