I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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