Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sext me about skeletons
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
