She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
