i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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