Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
