you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
