i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
