chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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