Swine flu. Run for my life!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
