how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
