Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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