Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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