i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
