It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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