i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
