I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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