awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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