I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
