check it out our google latitudes are spooning
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
