Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
