Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
