So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize