The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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