I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
