is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
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How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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