You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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