how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
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