just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
