ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
