he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
