You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
