You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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