so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
