i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
