i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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