So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
