She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
How naked do you want me to be?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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