those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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