...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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